Divorce and raising my children

December 26th 1999- I received a call from the county court offices asking me to come sign papers. I was thinking it was more paperwork for the divorce law judge, I got the kids ready and went to my moms and dropped off Heidi and Eric with her, Michael stayed with me, he would very Rarely allow anyone to watch him so he was as thy say connected at the hip. we drove to the court offices and went in, The lad in the window asked why we were there, Her name was Wendy. I explained I had gotten a phone call to stop in and fill out some paperwork for the Law Judge. She asked my name a told her, she left the room and came back with a smile on her face, she said your not here to sign papers for the Law Judge, your here to sign your final divorce decree. "your divorce is final she stated" I wanted to be happy, but the fact was a little part
of me was sad, I was going to be a divorcee today. My children,. "what would they think?"  did I fail them? I loved my children with all of my heart and soul! they are and have always been my life. I didn't know what my future held for them, but I wanted to give them a more stable life. this is their childhood and they will never have this time back. I had so many questions in my head, but the only thing that could answer them is time. I knew deep down it was for the best. I looked through the paperwork before signing, I was only 23 years old but had grown so much and so fast that I had learned not to sign anything without looking first, I left this marriage with nothing but the clothes on my back and my children thats all I wanted... those were the only things that mattered to me. like I said my children are my life and I wanted to protect them. the Law Judge had granted me full custody and gave Aaron Liberal visitation. he is supposed to give me 48 hours notice before seeing the kids. (didn't realise he wouldn't follow the rules)
As of today it was just me and my kids. Today is day 1 for us. so that is my divorce story, I won't write a lot of detail about my ex because I want to spare my children some hurt that I went through. This is the end of this chapter and i will start the next one.

My three wonderful children

Jan 5 1991- I was 14 almost 15 years old. This was the day I met my now ex husband, the father of my beautiful 3 children. His Name is Aaron. He is quite a bit older than me he was 19. We met through my sisters date, and went bowling, at first I didn't know really if I liked him he wasn't my type. but at the time I didn't have a boyfriend and thought I needed one, at that age I didn't know any better. I'm really suprised my parents allowed it, and really what was he thinking? what could he have seen in a 14 year old? As the weeks went by I seemed to enjoy being around him. then the months went by and in march I found out I was pregnant, He was my first. I was so scared! I should have been barely 15 and having a baby, I was just a baby myself. My parents didn't give me the option Aaron wanted to marry me, I on the other hand didn't know if thats what I wanted. Again I was only 15. Dec23 1991 came very fast and my baby girl was born. (Heidi) 8 lbs 12 1/2 oz beautiful baby girl. Aaron and I fought constant he never wanted to help out with her, but as soon as we would go somewhere he pretended to be a doteing dad. I started the pill, but forgot alot and in june of 1993 found out I would be expecting again... now We were living in an apt in owatonna Mn and everything seemed to be going ok. october of 1993 Heidi came down with the chicken pox and I was pregnant and sick, Aaron started not coming home until late at night and I was being forced to do everything myself. so Oct 13th 1993 I left and moved back to Austin, moved into my parents home and was getting help, two weeks later Aaron lost his job and moved back to Austin, me being married thought I had to forgive him and hope for the best, we had no money and barely made ends meet, He was so selfish always making sure he ate before me or Heidi and never sharing, hiding food from us, and throwing temper tantrums worse than a 2 year old.I put up with it and still don't know why, I guess because I was young, and maybe partly because before we got married we met with a pastor that told us marriage was very hard and sometimes you go through rough times but you push through it, "ok well I was still a kid and didn't understand him" And thats why kids should Not get married. feb 3 1994 came and I was given a c-section, I had my baby boy oh how handsome he was Eric 8lbs 3oz. he was my little man. I couldn't have asked for better kids! I loved them with all of my heart and soul. and protected them with everything in me. fast forward a few years later, I'm still with Aaron, but now he has become abusive I was on the depo shot. it was 1996, August came and went with no period, sept same thing, october the same thing oct 17th 1996 I went for my every three month exam and shot and bacause I had been sick they wouldn't give me my shot. they sent me to the lab and said if the test was negative I could come back the next day and get my shot, I got a call later that day stating my test was postive and I was def pregnant, dec 1996 I was so sick I couldn't even get out of bed I couldn't hold water down or food. on dec 10th 1996 I went to the hospital and started bleeding, they said my body was trying to abort the baby I was in the hospital on bedrest from dec 10 to dec 17 it was aarons bday the day I was released. when I got home I ws supposed to be on bed rest but because It was his birthday I was told he wasn't staying home, he was going out, this is how life was with him, he came and went as he pleased and sometimes was gone 1-2 days at a time. june 26th 1997 I had a wonderful baby boy Michael. he was so long and skinny but was 8lbs 14 oz. he was immidiatly a mommys boy!!! I couldn't leave his site for nothing. Aaron claimed from day one Michael was not his, but he is. and I will allow a dna anytime he wants one, and now claims our middle son Eric isn't his either, same thing dna any day of the week, I need to stop here and my next post will be about marriage and divorce.

January 29 1976 The beginning

On A Thursday In January 1976 two Baby girls were born, Doctor Lomen at the Austin medical center walked into the waiting room and announced the news to the expecting Father. "twin girls" first born Heather Lynn Hebl and 2nd born Heidi Ann Hebl. both weighing 6 pounds. Why you ask was the Father in the waiting room? Well you see in 1976 The Fathers were very rarely in the delivery room. Both girls were happy healthy babies, and of coarse beautiful... The twins were born 3 days before their oldest sisters (Lisa) 7th birthday, Oh what a present for a 7 year old. "Two real babies"  how exciting! and also welcomed home by another sister (Lana) who wasn't quite 2. Oh how my mother had her hands full! Three of four Children under the age of two! (bravo Mom Bravo) Weeks went by, Months went by. November 24th 1976 my Dad got up in the middle of the night to feed us taking turns, this shift was his. He has said he heard me screaming uncontrollably "no cry he had ever heard before" he walked into the room very groggily still half asleep. carrying two bottles and yawning. he right away saw one of the twins wasn't moving and didn't know what was wrong he immediately screamed "judy" at the top of his lungs barely able to breath he noticed the baby wasn't breathing and started cpr. while my mom called for an ambulance. Heidi was pronounced dead at the hospital, they said sids had taken her in her sleep. the funeral was emotional and I don't think my parents ever recovered. But does anyone recover after losing a child? My Dad still cries talking about that night, and it's been 35 years. I'm going to end this blog here for tonight and my next blog will fast forward in time a little.